What Do Women Find Attractive?

When I was younger, I used to wonder how to make a girl fall for you. I asked my female friends and they would say what almost everyone else says, with slight variations. Don’t believe me? Ask any woman what they like in a man. They will say some permutation of:

  • Tall(er)
  • Funny
  • Smart
  • Gentlemanly
  • Caring
  • Confident

Sure, those are positive traits. But are they really what makes a girl fall head over heels for men? Do they flip on their head every time a tall man walks by? Or if he’s a stand up comedian?

We all know, to some extent, people don’t know what they want. They know what they’re looking for, but it’s what they’re not looking for that’s important. If I had a dollar every time a girl told me, “I don’t usually date guys like you. But I don’t know why I really like you.” Or, “You’re so different from the guys I’ve dated.”

The Secret

So what is it? What is the key to unlock the female psyche and make them fall in love with you?

Before I go into that, think about this (humor me here, or skip to the 4 tips below if you can’t wait).

Think about your “perfect 10” girl. What does she look like? Her hair color. Her smile. Her body. Her laughter. Her personality. Got it?

Now, ask yourself these two questions: why do you want to date her? And what can you add to her life?

Many guys I’ve talked to struggle with these questions. Many “pickup artists” I know, deep inside, want to date beautiful girls for validation. The thought of having a beautiful girl next to them makes them happy because “Look, guys! I’m more awesome than you are.”

It’s easy to think what a girl can add to your life: sex, social approval, conquest, or just to fill loneliness. But when asked what you can add to the girl’s life, most of them stumble on half-witted answers. Which leads me to the secret of how to get a girl to fall for you. Simple.

Treat Her Like A Regular Person

Sounds easy, but it seems like a struggle. Many guys get nervous around girls because they are afraid of rejection. They are afraid that they are not enough. They beg for the stop. They beg for the conversation to continue. They beg for the number. They beg for the date. And when the girl says no, they get hurt.

When you realize that you are enough, and know that you truly can add to people’s lives, that’s when all the nervousness is stripped away. Imagine you have $10 in your pocket and you want to give it to the homeless guy on the street. Are you afraid he’s going to reject you? Will you be offended or amused if he rejects you?

The same goes for social dynamics. When you are comfortable with being yourself and pursuing your goals, with the knowledge that you truly have value to add to people’s lives, that’s when you can be real with others. A CEO of a company doesn’t go around afraid of what his employees think of him.

And you need to adopt that mind set. To first put down your barriers and be real with others.

But That’s Not All…

There may be many reasons why girls will still reject you even though you are real with them. Maybe they aren’t available emotionally or circumstantially (in a hurry or in a relationship). Maybe she gets too much validation from her workplace or from clubs that you are “just another guy”. Maybe she is afraid of her friends judging her. Maybe she just isn’t attracted to guys like you.

But that shouldn’t stop you from putting yourself out there and being you. Many guys are overly apologetic about expressing themselves or they overcompensate by being aggressively belligerent. Both aren’t real. They’re just hiding behind shields.

To allow her to let her guard down, you need to let yours down first if you want to know how to make a girl fall for you.

4 Tips How To Make A Girl Fall For You

1. Let her Get To Know You

In another article, I talked about creating the opportunity to make a girl like you. The research shows that allowing people to do a kindness to you positively affect their impression of you. Of course, reciprocation also plays a part in this.

That means you don’t just keep doing nice things for girls, but also establish a mutually contributing relationship. Most guys don’t let the girl chase her, which results in driving the girl further.

2. Push and Pull

One common gripe most girls have about guys is that they are too boring. Knowing when to compliment and when to tease a girl is key to creating that emotional connection. It’s also what being real is. You don’t always compliment your bros, do you? There’s a lot of joking, joshing around, and just smack talk.

Not to say treat a girl like your bro, but don’t be afraid of offending her. It is better to push the limit and have her react negatively, then backpedalling, than to just be afraid of stepping on her toes (not real; fear-based). How to make a girl fall for you is really allowing her to experience something on an emotional level.

3. Establish Comfort

I’ve written before that comfort is not rapport. Getting the girl to be comfortable to be real with you takes time. The more time she spends with you, and if you don’t do anything during that time to break her trust: she will be comfortable with you.

Of course, there are ways to speed up the process and create the illusion that they’ve known you for a long time when learning how to make a girl fall for you. Being genuine with her and being 100% interested in getting to know who she is, her likes and dislikes, allows her to open up. You’re not just spouting some line, you are asking questions, making statements, digging deep unintrusively into her soul.

She will be able to tell if it’s a ruse. Girl’s aren’t dumb. Just make sure not to push too deep too soon.

4. Sexual Tension AND Connection

Lastly, know how to stand out from every other guy vying for her attention by bringing her into your awesome fun reality. Rather than force your way into her world, doing what she likes and what she’s comfortable with; challenge her limits. When she enters your world, she will intrinsically trust you more, and follow your lead.

This is the basis of establishing connection. When they respect you, and you are there for her to lean on. Also, when you’re in your element, creating sexual tension is easy. Sexual tension is just build up of arousal. Make her feel emotions. Excite her. Challenge her. Then allow her to trust you. That builds the tension.

All these can’t be accomplished if you constantly tell her that your life is boring and want to do what she finds fun. You might like her more but that’s not how to make a girl fall for you.

If you found this post useful, great! But all that knowledge means nothing until you put it into action. Stop procrasturbating and start taking action...first by being a part of our closed-doors, roundtable of elite players in Singapore. Click here to see how you can get access to The Social Gym and start working your social muscles.
J Machiavelli

J Machiavelli

Headmaster and founder of The Social Gym, an inner circle of elite players who aim to take over the world one date at a time.
J Machiavelli