Headed out last night to grab drinks with some old friends of mine before hitting the clubs with the usual bunch, J and Scar and a couple of J’s friends. Earlier on in the day I wanted to just stay home. I was really lethargic; it felt like I was going to fall sick. I somehow managed to drag my ass out at about 830 to meet the guys, though.
Got my drinks and managed to catch up a little bit before being pulled aside to have a serious conversation about my goals, life, and about some decisions I had to make to get where I am right now. I bounced myself to the usual drinking spot with J and Scar shortly after to grab a little bit more drink.
Fast forward into the club, I immediately headed for the dance floor. It was already about 12+ and the crowd was decent. I was just doing my thang when this girl started rubbing her ass on me from behind. Slightly amused, I turned around and looked told her,
Me: “At least buy me a drink first if you want to dance with me.”
She kinda smiled and moved away, so I went in and introduced myself. Talked to her for a bit, turns out she’s from Greece and is currently studying here. Her friend, I shall call her FakeGerman, was kinda cute so I engaged the whole group and slowly turned my focus to her. FakeGerman came up beside me and started dancing with the bar/ poles around the dance floor.
J and Scar wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to just yet. I looked at her then I told her to stop dancing like that:
Her: “Doing what?”
Me: “Dancing like that.”
Her: “Huh, why?”
Me: “Cuz it’s really hot. You’re turning me on.”
Her: (creeped out look)
I took that as my cue to leave. It was EXTREMELY miscalibrated. But I laughed it off and rejoined my friends at the other side. There wasn’t much over there so we decided to head to the smoking corner.
Inside, we were learning against the wall and there were these two girls smoking in front of us. I noticed that one of them, BoringInsuranceAgent, kept looking at me. Initially I didn’t want to approach her. But J unintentionally gave me a very interesting opener of some conversation he was having over text. I decided to go in.
I approached her with the usual IthoughtyouwerecuteIjusthadtomeetyou but transitioned into the text that J just showed me. It was going great for a while; lots of flirting and tension. Talked about sex, one night stands, homosexuality, creepy guys—basically, the conversation was going where it should. Then I got scared.
I totally freaked out because it was going so good. Outside I kept my calm, but inside I started thinking A LOT. Then the conversation died down, and it became awkward as HELL. Just next to me J was doing superb, with his arms around her and all that. I was still standing quite a distance from her. I don’t know what came over me but suddenly the connection was severed.
I kept thinking about what to do next; I couldn’t be in the moment with her. My overthinking killed the whole vibe and I knew it was over.
Luckily we were done smoking, so we went to the dance floor. I don’t know if it was me or her, but there was totally ZERO connection after that. Tried dancing with her but it just felt awkward. I decided to baton pass her to J’s friend and BAILED. I kinda let J down, but it was affecting my mood and I had to cut it off before that happened.
I went over to Zirca and saw Scar standing against the wall alone with a beer in hand. It was unacceptable! We decided to walk around a bit, but there weren’t many sets at that time. I wasn’t feeling quite up to mark yet, so I kinda let a few sets pass by without as much as a hi. When we were walking back to Rebel, I passed FakeGerman and GreekGirl again. I pulled them in and asked where they were going. GreekGirl shouted something and FakeGerman stumbled past us.
I asked if she was drunk, and GreekGirl said yea because she’s German. “Aren’t Germans supposed to be good drinkers?” “Clearly not.” FakeGerman pulled GreekGirl away and I followed for a bit but noticed that FakeGerman didn’t really want me there so I turned back.
On the way to rejoin J, I bumped into this guy, RefinedBarbarian, whom we hung out with on Wednesday at my friend’s farewell party.
Skip through the night of more dancing and inaction, I noticed this cutie wearing a black and white striped dress in a 3-set on the edge of the dance floor. I told the guys to go to the dance floor and I stuck near them. I noticed these two guys, Nerd and FatNerd, dancing creepily behind them. Clearly they didn’t know the girls, but I asked Nerd anyway. When FatNerd saw me pointing to the cutie, he immediately put out his arm and walled me out.
The fury burned. One does not simply wall Jet out of of set. I immediately pushed through the two Nerds and went straight up to the cutie. Tried to introduce myself but she wouldn’t say a thing! I decided it might be better to talk to her friends. So I turned to ShortChick on my right and asked how was it going and if it was alright if I danced with StripedChick. She said somethingsomething which I couldn’t hear because she was too short. I couldn’t be bothered to bend down to talk to her. I turned back to StripedChick and tried to introduce myself again. But once again she wouldn’t speak. It’s like someone superglued her lips together. I looked at all three of them, decided it wasn’t worth my time and turned around back to my friends.
I wasn’t affected at all. Started dancing and going crazy. Then suddenly I saw RefinedBarbarian again, he said hi and then went past me and straight to StripedChick. I watched as she did the exact same thing to him. He gave up too left.
Not long after, the 3-set left and the two Nerds decided to leave as well. I turned to J he told me something. Note that this is purely from him. I didn’t see or hear it myself. I am still skeptical of it’s validity.
As it turns out, when I pushed past Nerd to talk to StripedChick, he was so shocked that he turned to J and asked him what the fuck was I doing? Why was I talking to the girl? What was I saying? It was as if talking to girls was outside of his reality and he couldn’t comprehend the fact that I actually went up and talked to her. This made me laugh, not at him, but because if it was me 3 years ago, I would have thought the exact same thing.
Anyway that was the last set of the night, or so I thought. I was feeling a bit weak and hungry and I could feel pre-fever chills coming up. Decided to go out and grab a burger.
After that, we went back in for a while, but it was getting late and most of the people were leaving. So we left.
Just outside of the club, this 2-set walks past us and suddenly says to J, “You’re going off already?” J didn’t know the girl so he kicked into autopilot mode and said that he saw her inside and started to introduce himself. Inside I was thinking, She acts like she knows him but clearly he doesn’t know her.
Turns out he really didn’t know her. But I thought he should have played along. She was really cute and friendly. When she walked away I could tell J wanted to carry on the conversation with her but she kinda skipped away. I told him to go and we followed them around the corner. When he wanted to approach suddenly a guy joined them. J turned around, looking sad with puppy dog eyes.
I told him if he didn’t want to go, I would…and so I did. When I went up to her, another guy joined the group. They were just standing there and then suddenly the other girl looked at me. She had this really concerned look and kept shaking her head, as if she knew what I was about to do and was telling me, not now dude, not now.
I told her it’s alright. The moment I spoke, the three of them spun around. The short guy kept telling me that they were ok. I said I know but I thought FriendlyGirl was cute and wanted to get her number. Without warning, the other guy, TallOrbiter, took a giant step forward straight into my face and went all “Nononono she’s taken already. She’s taken, she’s taken, she’s taken…errr…by my friend.” I don’t know if it was because I was tired, but I just looked at him. I told him to calm the fuck down; that I wasn’t going to eat her or anything. He continued to assure me that “it’s okay” and that “she’s taken”.
I looked at her, then back at him. Then I said alright and just walked off. Honestly he couldn’t have been more concerned for her. The moment he heard what I said, he jumped in and blocked me off from the group with great fervor. It wasn’t threatening so I didn’t see a need to react to him. He was more like scared and concerned that I would grab FriendlyGirl and run off or something.
It was a good laugh.
Anyway this was basically how the night went down. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad. I learnt quite a bit from it too. Earlier on when we were eating, I had a conversation with Scar about approaching in clubs. Initially, I guess I always looked down on the guys who never opened their mouths but crept up behinds girls and tried to dance with them. I saw them as having no social awareness at all and pure creepy. But after talking to Scar, I realized it’s just a different method of approaching girls.
For me, I don’t like to waste time. That’s why I’d rather go in strong and get blown out rather than creep my way into the set hoping she notices me and dances with me. I want girls to notice my presence and know that I’m here to dance with them, and it’s up to them whether they want to join my party or not. I feel that inching in closer and closer isn’t really my style…but I don’t judge those who do that anymore, since clearly it does work for some guys. Kudos!
One other thing I learnt is that doing “warmup” sets inside the club is a bad idea. I noticed that I always get my energy level up early in the night, but after approaching a lot of nonsense sets and ejecting, my energy level starts to dip quickly. Next time, I know to do warmup sets OUTSIDE, so when I go in I am in the head space and frame to enjoy myself and bring the party to the lucky girl who catches my eye. 😉
P.S. Fleshing out an article on one of the most important aspects of game and life that will definitely change your perspective on things. Stay tuned!If you found this post useful, great! But all that knowledge means nothing until you put it into action. Stop procrasturbating and start taking action...first by being a part of our closed-doors, roundtable of elite players in Singapore. Click here to see how you can get access to The Social Gym and start working your social muscles.