Several days ago, I was out with a good friend of mine, and I noticed this cute petite girl walking by, she was wearing a black spaghetti strap top with hot pants and sneakers. I had to approach her.
Stopped her, told her what I thought about her and introduced myself. She was feeling awkward, you don’t need to be a mind reader to tell she was thinking “what the fuck is going on and what should I do now?”. Thankfully, with my experience, I was able to calm her down, get her comfortable, we talked for about ten minutes and got her number for a date.
Social awkwardness is a common challenge people face when meeting someone for the first time. The moment a guy goes up to a girl and starts a conversation their brain panics and doesn’t know what to do, this is because especially in Singapore, girls aren’t used to guys going up to them for a conversation. I personally used to panic during conversations not only with hot girls but regular people. I used to dread the “awkward silence”, “sounding stupid”, “being uninteresting” and having the attention of someone listening to you, it can be as nerve wrecking as public speaking.
Let’s get to the bits on how to handle social awkwardness.
When faced with a socially awkward situation, the most important way to begin defusing it is to relax, calm down and pretend you are at a beach in Hawaii.
If you are comfortable with yourself and she feels you being comfortable, it will be easier for her to open up. How do you relax when faced with a socially awkward conversation?
It boils down to your body language, eye contact and tonality. Lean back, relax your eye contact and match her tonality.
WE ARE COMFORTABLE WITH PEOPLE LIKE US.
This is a very important concept whenever you think of comfort. People are comfortable with people like them. It’s easier for two shy individuals to connect, two extroverts can relate to each other based on personality. It is the same in social interactions. This is how you calibrate, especially in daytime interactions.
Mirror the person you are talking to, match her energy. If she is low energy, shy then you have to be extremely relaxed, be low energy and drive the conversation that is not on her and slowly brings conversations on her, like cold reading.
Cold reading is a conversational technique about analysing what kind of person someone is based on their energy, what they wear and how they portray themselves. I will cover more on cold reading in another article.
If after you do this(relaxed body language, conversation), it still does not work to you, the second way is to call out on the social situations. Some of the things I say goes something like “I can feel that this might be an awkward situation, but I just want to let you know, you’re not the only one feeling that way”. She will probably relax after this and you can go on with your conversation.
In daytime approaches, comfort is the biggest priority, if she is not comfortable, she is definitely not giving you her number, and if she did give you her number, chances are you can’t take her out for dates.
In conclusion, when faced with an awkward situation, relax, match her energy and converse with her on topics that are not focused on her. The priority is to be comfortable and get her comfortable. The less subtle way is to call out on the social awkwardness and continue the conversation from there. Don’t panic when faced with social awkwardness, the more you panic the more awkward it will get, treat it like it’s no big deal and it won’t be. Cheers.If you found this post useful, great! But all that knowledge means nothing until you put it into action. Stop procrasturbating and start taking action...first by being a part of our closed-doors, roundtable of elite players in Singapore. Click here to see how you can get access to The Social Gym and start working your social muscles.