How To Pick Up Girls At A Club: Difference Between Daygame and Nightgame
Today I’m going to switch things around a little and focus on how to pick up girls at a club —that is, the magic of night game. I spent the past year getting tons of reference experience picking up with a few experienced guys and learning a whole bunch about the nuances of nightgame. Now, some PUAs will argue that there’s no difference between meeting girls in the day and meeting them at night. If you think so, then just read this article as “How to Pick Up Girls
At A Club“.
However, while I understand where they are coming from, being that the fundamentals are still the same, there are still huge differences between the two. To clarify, nightgame does not mean picking girls up when the sun is down—rather, nightgame refers specifically to meeting girls in venues where people go to socialize (including peripheral areas such as on the streets outside of bars and clubs).
Before we go into how to pick up girls at a club, let’s see what the differences are between day game and night game.
In the day, it is mostly low energy depending on what time of day you meet the girl. The most hectic point in daygame, would be in the evenings when it is rush hour and people are in a hurry to get somewhere. Still, it is still relatively low. A good stop would instantly kill her momentum and shift her focus to you. In terms of fun energy, it should not be sustained for long. Just enough to spike her emotions before bringing it back down to normalization. Because she would probably be waiting for someone or walking someplace before you approach her, the baseline of fun isn’t that high a bar.
When learning how to pick up girls in a club, however, you would find that the environment would have already spiked her energy up before your approach. Your goal is to therefore match or slightly exceed the baseline energy level before bringing it back down and up and down and up again. Approach her with a weak-energy open and she will shut you down faster than you can say, “Hi.” High energy does not mean that you are bouncing off the walls and shouting and carrying girls away from their friends. High energy means a strong intense energy that draws her into your party—that you are having more fun than she is and extending an invitation to her to join you.
When meeting girls on the streets it is perfectly fine to walk up to a girl and talk to her one-to-one. Sometimes friends may come into the set or she might receive a phone call, but these are easily handled. If you are talking to a girl and a friend she is supposed to meet arrives and sees her talking to you, chances are she will join the conversation cautiously to see what is going on rather than immediately pulling her friend away. Which is why you should always pry logistics from the girl as soon as possible. Is she waiting for a friend? Is she going to meet a friend? Is she alone? That way, you can anticipate if someone is going to interrupt your conversation. If you are talking to her and you see a friend walking over, ask if that is her friend. If yes, introduce yourself before the friend reaches to a stop. Then ask the friend if you can talk to her/hit on her for another thirty seconds more. Close her immediately.
In the night, it is more tricky. For one, girls are rarely alone when you’re learning how to pick up girls at a club. Luckily, you should have wings as well to help you handle the friends. Introduce yourself to everyone. Use the introduction to tease out who the “mother hen” is (that is, the person in the group most likely to lead everyone away). Introduce her to your wing if she is not the one you are interested in. Your wing should get the hint. Hopefully you have an equal number of wings to the girl’s cockblocks. If not, your wing will have to test his social skills by handling two or three girls at a time. Never let any of them get bored. Introduce them to other guys standing around if possible. For nightgame, you have to expect to merge groups—possibly even with adjacent groups that you don’t know yet. Guys are mostly always appreciative when you help them meet girls in a club. Since pick-up is also about honing social skills, dealing with friends should be no problem. At no point should you be negative to their friends or put them down. That’s very important for how to pick up girls at a club.
Also, in the club you have to be incredibly sharp to notice cockblocks and intercept them before they can come and drag the girl away. And they will do that, if they don’t know you. Don’t get too caught up in the interaction that you are blind to your surroundings.
Unless a girl has been approached many times that day, girls would stop to chat most of the time (granted you do a proper stop). They may or may not be more cautious, however, and it is up to you to keep throwing conversation bait until something sticks. Girls tend to have less shields up in the day as well because they won’t expect to be hit on in the middle of the day. And guys will tend to mistake shyness or brain-spazzes as shields. The difference between shyness/spazzes and shields is in the micro-expressions. You can tell that she’s just spazzing out when she’s laughing and engaging you and her eyes light up, but she starts to walk away. Girls that are spazzing usually are extremely giggly and incoherent. Compared to a shield, where they know what’s up and are not taking anything in.
In nightgame, sometimes you might meet the spazzy girls. But shields are more common. You can tell the moment at the moment you open, their eyes just go blank and they give nothing. Usually, I will then just blast through it by whispering some random stuff in her ear before turning my back. My wing will then observe for me whether it’s worth it to reapproach, and he will do the reapproaching. Sometimes they let down their shield when you show that you don’t need them to have fun. Sometimes they just keep it up. It shouldn’t matter. You should be the center of your fun with or without the girls. The thing about shields is there is a value threshold to it. As long as you have more socio-contextual value than she does, you can break down the shields. If she thinks you are just another chump like everyone that has approached her that night, overcoming it will be very unlikely.
In the next part, I will address the common mistakes most guys make in nightgame when it comes to meeting girls in bars and clubs—essentially, what not to do in a club.
How To Pick Up Girls At A Club: Common Mistakes
Before we go into the actual process of how to pick up girls at a club, I want to point some mistakes that I made and that I tend to see many guys committing while I was developing my night game skills over the past few years.
Drinking Too Much
This is the biggest no-no when you are going to game. A beer or two is fine, depending on your personal limit. But there are nights when I totally go in sober and still manage to pull. It takes a while but it is possible to get into a high-energy state just drawing from the music, crowd, and energy alone. Alcohol makes you lose your focus and hurts your chances later in the night when you want to pull. Don’t use alcohol as a crutch. It is better to train your social muscles than to just rely on the ‘high’ to be fun—then what are you going to do the next time you ask the girl out? You can’t be perpetually high when practicing how to pick up girls at a club.
Dance Floor “Pick Up”
This is the most ridiculous form of “pick up” I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m hesitant to even call it that. It seems like a Uniquely Singaporean (zing!) thing where a group of guys stealthily surround a group of girls on the dance floor and then inch closer ever-so-slowly until they can dry hump the girl in the middle of the dance floor. Then they pray that the girls don’t freak out and run away. Occasionally there will be a horny girl who is totally receptive to it, but otherwise it’s just creepy as fuck and not how to pick up girls at a club.
Personally, I tried approaching on the dance floor and have gotten hits and misses. I don’t really like it because there isn’t any point. Unless you are having crazy amounts of fun and you just dance with the girl and pull her into your fun by dancing with you for a while. But it won’t be as effective.
Buying Girls Drinks
This isn’t as common but I still see some guys buying drinks. If you just met them and you are using your money as an in, then it is a stupid move. They will most likely take your drink and then leave after politely chatting with you for a few minutes. That’s not to say don’t ever buy a drink for girls ever. There are situations where it’s fine to do so, if they’ve stuck around for a while and you just want to bounce them places. That’s fine. For example if they’ve been with you all night and you want to grab a drink, it’s fine to get them a drink then. But if you use the drink as an opener or just minutes after you’ve met them, then that’s not a good thing.
Sometimes I see guys in a club standing around with their drinks to their chest staring at any girl that walks by. Girls notice this. If you’re out at the club with your buddies, always appear to be having fun. If anything, just laugh at each other’s nonfunny jokes heartily. Don’t stand there looking at girls. Face your wing, talk to your wing, and even if you notice a hot girl walk by, don’t train your eyes on her. She can see that, she’s not an idiot. Just wait until she’s about five feet away then get her attention and open her. Nightgame is a closed environment. Everyone is aware of everything and you will see them over and over again. Don’t be known as the guy that is standing in the corner checking girls out but isn’t having fun himself.
Treating Other Guys As Competition
One other thing that reeks neediness is how guys treat each other in a club, especially when it there is a girl involved. They are willing to step over and throw the bro code out the window just to get a chance to give the girl some validation. It’s ridiculous. Always remain on the sociable side, especially with other guys. Unless they’re being aggressive then calmly put them down like the rabid dogs they are. In any other case, ignoring them is also a good way to go (though it’s a bit dickish). I’ve been in situations where a bunch of girls and girls are in a group. And I approach the one stray girl and hit on her. I can tell the guys in the group are looking over but they just continue conversation. And once they’re ready to go they just step in give a false smile and arms-over-shoulders pull the girl with them. It’s expressing non-jealousy and dominance over the girl. Which I can kind of respect but, still, don’t need to be such an asshole.
Oh and fuck AMOG-ing. That’s retarded unless you’re a huge jacked motherfucker who can fight—but then you’re going to get thrown out the club.
And one last thing that might seem a little counter-intuitive
Forcing THe Pull On The Same Night
It depends on several factors but pulling the girl on the same night you met her will guarantee you will never see her again. It is far better to spike the attraction and sexual tension, and then normalize it and get her to commit several times before you get the number. It shows you have control over the sexual tension and it makes her feel like less of a slut. However you still have to stick with her for as long as possible. Unlike daygame, it is not an “approach and talk for 8 minutes, get the number, then next set” kind of operation. You still have to run the usual night game (more like an instant date) process, but at the end go for supper, then go home. Text her the next evening or two days later to confirm the date. That way, you are more likely to see her on your terms, project positive sexual signals that you are not desperate, and also don’t have to deal with her friends calling her asking her where she is and then judging her because she ran off with you.
So, we’ve discussed the nuances of nightgame and the common mistakes guys make when going out to the clubs, I want to talk about how the entire process actually looks like. My wings and I have been experimenting with nightgame for almost a year now and have worked out a system of what works and discarding what doesn’t. What I will discuss in this article is not the only way to game, but it is the most effective way we’ve found that works for us.
I divide the entire night into three different parts: Warm-up⇒Socializing, Bounce, and Commit/Close. Within each part running the usual game is still necessary; think about it as an extended version of the 8-minute daygame conversation. A typical nightgame interaction from open to close should last the entire night, which is about three to four hours long.
How To Pick Up Girls At A Club: Process
I realized that even though this article is “how to pick up girls at a club”, most of the process starts even before you reach the club. Sure you can pick girls up inside the actual night club, but usually I find that much harder depends on the crowd and your relative social value. Anyway, you can just apply the same concepts to the club.
The first part is where you warm your social muscles up. The name of the game is to create the party. Have fun with your wings. Don’t think about approaching girls just yet. Most guys who go out to nightgame (or even daygame) make the mistake of not having fun before they start approaching. If you aren’t having fun without girls, it will be difficult to try to bring girls into your reality because the girls are probably having fun without you anyway.
Shoot the shit and just joke around with your friends. If you want to, a couple of drinks is fine depending on your alcohol tolerance. But don’t use it as a crutch to “hit state”. Based on experience, that rarely ever works. Once you’re having fun and self-amused, it’s time to meet some ladyfolk.
Whether at a bar or on the street, just engage girls and talk to them. In nightgame it’s easier to talk to mixed sets (i.e., sets with guys and girls) because everyone’s there to have fun. If you can bring fun to the table, the guys there are less likely to feel threatened. Once you find a set that hooks, try to find out logistics such as where they’re headed to next, who they’re there with, etc. If everything checks out and you know it is possible to bounce them, stick with the set.
For this part, don’t do takeaways just yet. Stay with them. Party with them. Just talk and move around the group so that everyone knows everyone. An hour or so of staying with the set should be enough to make them comfortable with the idea of bouncing to the next club. Occasionally street stops may mimic the daygame instant date process, where an 8-to-10-minute conversation is enough to get them to bounce with you to the next venue.
By this time of the night, the girls should be comfortable if they’ve been hanging around for the past hour or so. Because this is very similar to a daygame instant date scenario, it is recommended that you bounce to a couple more locations. You don’t necessarily have to go to another bar, but if you want to that’s perfectly fine as well. For me and my wings, bouncing to a club is always next on the list. In Singapore, the party starts around 1.30 am so if you meet the girls at, say, 11 or 12, it is more than enough time to get them comfortable and hyped up enough to carry on the party in a higher energy environment.
Sometimes you will face resistance. Especially if one of the girls in the group is not having as much fun as the others. Don’t worry, be patient. Remember: bring them into your fun. Don’t become needy for them to follow you. In nightgame, the moment you become needy it’s done. Just be enthusiastic about getting them to come along. Use her friends to ‘guilt trip’ her. “Sarah’s coming, are you going to ditch your BFF just because you’re tired? It’s only 1 am! Come on!” Don’t be pushy about it, though. There’s a fine line. If the girl is teetering on the edge, sometimes all she needs is a light nudge. Don’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to. Don’t be angry or frustrated. Keep everything light-hearted. That’s important in how to pick up girls at a club.
Also, be decisive. Too many times did I lose sets because we waited around too long deciding where the next location is and lost the girls in the end. Keep the party going and keep moving. Every moment of boredom is one more moment to them leaving. Just bounce to a club, get in the queue, get them in, get a drink with the coupon, and then move to the dance floor. If they decide to come with you, it’s a show of compliance. Don’t worry about gaming them. Keep your mood up. Push and pull. If you overgame, you might risk putting them off and ruining the night.
Within the club, it is important to move them around the club location. Inside, outside, and even for a short stroll around. Slowly isolate them away from each other. You will find that some girls are adamant on staying together. That’s why getting to know everyone is important so that the friends will feel it’s alright if you tell them you just want to go outside with her for a bit and that you’ll bring her back very quickly. “3 minutes! 3 minutes and we’ll be back! Promise!” Isolation is important if you want to move in for the kiss close. Unless the girls are obviously there to party and meet guys and don’t really judge each other, the girls might not feel comfortable kissing you in front of her friends. Isolating helps your wings spend more one-on-one time with their girls as well. Once the isolation and kiss is done. Bring her back. You can now do heavy takeaways. If she is enjoying herself, your job is pretty much done.
Now this is where guys tend to get overly excited. When sex seems like a sure thing, they become needy, start qualifying themselves, and basically ruin their own chances that they built up over the entire night. It is crucial that you stay calm and remain composed during this stage. You are still having fun. You still have to generate energy from within yourself. Don’t fuck up and suddenly leech fun from the girl, the sudden switch and she will bail. It’s a game of patience. Any moment you fuck up and she will still leave. Don’t keep going for the makeout. Like in the date model, the first kiss is a contractual kiss (setting the dynamics via a mouth-to-mouth handshake).
There are some guys who are into one night stands and for them, this is the point where they baby step the girl out of the club, into the cab, and back to their place. That’s fine only if you don’t want to see the girl again. It’s not a bad thing. It’s low commitment. Both you and the girl enjoy yourselves. Win-win. But if you want to see the girl a second time, the next step is crucial.
First, don’t think about sleeping with her when learning how to pick up girls at a club. Your job is to make sure she still remembers you and wants to see you the next day. Which means, you do NOT get her drunk. In fact, no one should be drinking until they’re wasted. The moment you or the girl gets wasted, it’s done. That’s not how to pick up girls at a club.
You have to isolate her, then bring the energy the fuck down.
But not to the point of boredom. Just nice enough so that you can have a real moment with her. Make her commit to going on a coffee date with you. Drill it in. Repeat it. Make her repeat it. Spike her energy and make her say it. Then bring it down and make her say it again. Not in a needy, forcing her to promise way. But in a “I want to see you in a different context because I like you enough but not as a one night stand kind of thing.” You are qualifying her. Girls will appreciate that even more if you go through the whole process from start of the night to this point. Because she has experienced a whole range of emotions with you, moving to different venues with you, it will feel in her mind that she has known you for a longer time than 3-4 hours. Remember, make sure she’s not drunk when she commits to the date. Normalize the fuck out of it. Look into her eyes when you do it and make sure she’s feeling the same intimate rapport as you do. Make her commit to a specific date that the both of you are free. Don’t confirm the location yet. You will realize that the same idea holds both in day game and how to pick up girls at a club.
How To Pick Up Girls At A Club: Aftermath
Once she has calmed down and agreed to a date, get her number then bring her back into the club with her friends. From here on out it’s just chill city. You can talk to your wing, flirt with her, dance with her, etc and just enjoy the rest of your night. And do not send her home unless you are banging her that night. You can go for supper with her and your wings, or you can just send them off in a cab and hang with your wings a bit longer. But don’t send her home. Once you’ve gotten the commitment, it’s time to roll the fuck off. Your job is done. She enjoyed herself. Don’t overfuckinggame when learning how to pick up girls at a club.
Then follow protocol and text her the next day in the late afternoon asking if she has a hangover, blah blah blah. Don’t text her too much. Maybe a few minutes a day until the day of the date. The night before confirm with her whether the date is still on with a text like “I have something on tomorrow. I might be late by about 10 minutes. Just giving you a heads up.” This is to just tease out whether the date is still a sure thing. Depending on how she replies, carry on from there. Standard text stuff.
Now that you know how to pick up girls at a club, what to do and what not to do, get your ass out there and start meeting people.If you found this post useful, great! But all that knowledge means nothing until you put it into action. Stop procrasturbating and start taking action...first by being a part of our closed-doors, roundtable of elite players in Singapore. Click here to see how you can get access to The Social Gym and start working your social muscles.