What is verbal game and why is it important?
Verbal game can be defined as the manner in which you to talk to a girl in order to get her interested in you. Sure, it’s all well and fine to go up to a girl and tell her she’s cute… but then what? You get butterflies in your stomach, tense up and try to maintain eye contact despite the obvious tension. She starts to look at you quizzically before excusing herself and walking away. BAM, you’ve just lost a shot at dating this beautiful woman. How do you keep her interested? The short answer: Keep talking. This is where verbal game comes in.
How to level up your verbal game
1. What you say is not as important as HOW you say it
I’m going to tell you a story in two different ways. Which one do you find more appealing?
Version 1: My friends and I went to Phuket last year. We rented a car and drove around the island. We also went to the beach and had a good time. The food there was nice too. Overall, it was a fun experience.
Version 2: My friends and I went to Phuket last year. We drove around the island in a car we rented, exploring the hills and soaking in the nature-filled scenery. We went to to the beach as well, and rode jetskis. Freaking jetskis! I felt so… free. The food was delicious, Thai cuisine is truly unique. With every mouthful, you get an explosion of flavors. You should definitely put Phuket on your bucket list, maybe you’ll have as much fun as I did.
Don’t you agree that the second version sounds better? Do you know why? It’s because I painted a picture in your head about my experience. Make the conversation your canvas. Paint it with passionate, enthusiastic brushstrokes in a multitude of colours according to how you see fit. When your speech is laced with feelings, people will pay more attention because of the emotional responses you trigger in them. Women are especially susceptible to this, because they are more emotional than men are. This allows you to relate to them better, opening the door for further interaction.
2. Don’t mince your words
Have you ever experienced this feeling when talking to an attractive girl? You want to say something but you’re worried if it sounds “cool enough”. You want to “modify” the content of your speech to get a phone number or a “good” reaction. You are trying to impress her at the expense of stifling your true voice. This is unhealthy and unnatural because you are not being genuine. Eventually, she’s going to see right through you and these thoughts will cross her mind:
– “Why is he putting pressure on himself to say the “right” things?”
– “Does he have an agenda?”
-“He must want something from me. Why is he being so needy?”
Girls aren’t stupid. Keep a fake “act” up for long enough and she’ll figure you out eventually.
Instead, you should not be afraid of getting “bad” reactions or freaking her out. Chances are, as long as you have been authentic and honest the whole time, she will feel more comfortable around you. Wonder why? It’s because you are comfortable being yourself! The content of your speech may sound weird to her, but she can definitely appreciate the authenticity behind them because you are being congruent. Let go of the need to “get” something from the girl and embrace freedom. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much smoother the conversation goes.
3. Word associations/Threading conversation topics
Running out of things to say? Can’t quite keep the conversation going for more than 2 minutes? This a common problem faced by nearly everyone when they get into Game. Fear not, because this is where word associations will help you out. This method allows you to pick out any word that the girl said and use that to direct the conversation elsewhere. For example, if she says, “I like animals. I have cat at home,” you could respond with:
– “I’m more of a dog person. I have one at home too and we go out for walks nearly every day.”
– “That’s nice, I read somewhere that those who have pets make better parents because they’re used to taking care of a living being.”
– “Cat huh? Maybe you should make one of those viral “cat videos”? They’re all over YouTube. What if your cat becomes an Internet star?”
– “Cat’s freak me out. I think it’s because of their sharp eyes, like they’re waiting for your back to be turned so they can pounce on you.”
Now, in order for this to work effectively, you should keep in mind point 1 and point 2. It will greatly influence the way you thread conversations together. This might take some getting used to, but you can practice it with anybody, from family to colleagues. In fact you will end up improving your conversation skills with everyone, not just attractive women you meet.
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